• previous post
• next post

Rules of Engagement

• August 3rd, 2007

I like rules that make sense. Rules are good for me when they are simple and voluntarily agreed to by those expected to follow them. This of course is very different than laws and regulations which are typically established without input, conversation or the slightest involvement by those they most directly affect. Rules when looked at from an artist’s perspective involve light, from an astronomer’s the earth’s rotation and from the chemist’s the certain reactions of various components when mixed together. These rules guide and predict what will happen, and they don’t tend to change. When people say “rules should be broken” I think they are really talking about laws and regulations which as we all know constantly change and often times make no sense whatsoever.

We have a new law in Virginia that punishes traffic violators who reside in this grand state at a more costly level than those that don’t. Some people think this is downright discriminatory as well as short sighted in terms of addressing the issue. In the disability community almost all the laws and regulations are discriminatory and fail to address the real issues of poverty, unemployment, lack of inclusion and choice. Not following many of the regulations in this industry actually helps people with disabilities to have better lives…go figure, but don’t get caught.

My friend and I established some rules or maybe they are just guiding principals, it’s really semantics because our rules were made together in an effort to define our behavior towards one another and at the same time make sure we achieved certain outcomes. I like them, they are exciting, loving and communicate intentions and anticipation. Having a rule about communication that is honest and clear works for me, I like being able to expect that, hell even count on it.

Sometimes rules can be healing, like a bridge that transports me from one place to another, or adventurous like a promise of fun, no matter what. Nothing wrong with those kinds of rules in my book. Some rules are just plain manners or graciousness, I like those too. I guess the real test of a rule is its ultimate motive or what the rule should accomplish, when I make rules for myself like sitting up straight and working on my posture I rarely question the motive or test its integrity, yet when I establish rules with another person I suppose motive does come up, is this controlling or freeing, confining or releasing, supportive or selfish? With my friend I did not think of these factors, never entered my mind. I think that was because I trust him and when I trust someone those things just don’t take up any space in me. It’s just distant and hard to hear noise.

So maybe we need to dump the regulations that were made for people with disabilities and not with people with disabilities, maybe we need to establish rules between people with disabilities and those they trust and just maybe we need more rules that promise love, adventure and graciousness……now that’s something I could get behind, yep no doubt that’s me in a tree.