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Goodbye to a gentleman

• July 10th, 2006

Ophir arrived on the door of Hope House some 20 odd years ago as a gentleman, the same way he left us. He was a man who understood much about the way people with disabilities were treated in our country. He was in foster care until he was 37 then institutionalized for over 10 years. He understood that others labeled him but he labeled himself as a man of value.

Ophir was practicing the art of self determination long before the field of disabilities coined the phrase. He wanted a life lived on his own terms from the moment he had a chance and he had a chance with Hope House Foundation.

Ophir had a great sense of humor, he liked a good joke and he had an easy laugh that he was willing to share with friend or stranger. Ophir lived in many circles; he loved his church and believed in participating in all functions, on his own. He had many friends within and outside of Hope House. He spent most of his years in the Ghent area and enjoyed a stroll thorough the tree lined streets while greeting his neighbors and taking the time to say hello to the passing dog. Ophir was just plain nice. But he could be stubborn too. Not about big things but little ones, how his clothing was arranged, what he wanted to wear and when he wanted to leave his house. Push him too hard in these situations and Ophir would hold his ground, and not budge an inch. During those times we learned a lot about the art of follow-ship.

Ophir loved a good time, enjoyed parties and could dance a night away. He was interested in other people and was consistent about inquiring as to your health, your family and your work. He complained about very little even though he had a history that would have warranted complaints. He was soulful and a forgiving man.

One of my favorite memories of Ophir was not monumental, no big celebration or event; it was what you might call a quiet memory. Ophir had his own apartment not far from where I live. I remember well this day. It was springtime and the trees were in bloom, the weather near perfect. I was coming home from some errand and I ran in to Ophir on one of his strolls, something I had done many time before. This time instead of just saying hello and exchanging pleasantries as neighbors do we sat down on the front stoop of my building. I don’t recall a great deal of conversation though I remember we did remark on all the birds on the middle medium. We just sat together, two folks who lived near one another and who had know each other for a long time…enjoying a bit of time on a beautiful spring day. A simple pleasure and the way I will always remember this very dear and gentle man. So go safe Mr. Ophir McAdoo and take your keys…